I get AROUND /// RHIA

[AUDREY JOCELYN MADDINGS]

credit for the picture goes to ITSMELFTW! at caution 2.0

Thank the gods that Benji was on the first floor. Audrey really didn't feel like having to climb some kind of tree in the cold. Instead of her normal dresses that made her whole body freeze, she was wearing black jeans that were neatly tucked into her black boots and under those boots were her orange socks with hearts on them. She had on a long sleeve shirt that was white and on top of that was a vest... that Noah once told her made her look so damn sexy. Not that she was wearing it just because it made her look sexy, but because it was her only vest clean. She was wearing it partly because it made her look sexy though. Why did she need to look sexy? Because she was going to Benji's. Yes, the boy who was the brother of her dead boyfriend and her brother from another mother. Once again she no real reason as to why she wanted to look sexy for Benji when he had seen her in her worst times. He had stayed a few times at her dorm when his roomie was being a jerk or just when they would fall asleep while they were hanging out. So of course, he had seen her in all her morning glory where there was ruined make-up and not-so-sexy pj's.

God. She didn't know what she was doing. Her brain was a flooded with questions and worries. She was so lonely and afraid but yet no matter what she did to make that feeling leave... it still came back. At first she had decided that Benji wasn't to blame for this and that, he was going through the same thing. Noah was his brother. And Benji was like her brother, so why was she avoiding him? If anyone could make her smile right now it was Benji. Her best bro. Then over the night it turned into the idea of sleeping with Benji and she just got all confused. So, by the next night she was over at his window slowly pushing it up. Benji wouldn't be able to hear her knock so she knew just to come in.

One leg at a time she hopped in the window, letting off a small sigh. It was dark both outside and inside so she couldn't really see anything. She could hear some stirring in the room and stopped herself from calling out his name. He was deaf, he couldn't hear her so how would that help. She needed help though. She was at Benji's with half the mind to sleep with him and the other half to just apologize for being a loser. This would either just go really really badly or partly good. Which was which? She didn't know.

[BENJAMIN LUCAS HOWARD]

Benjamin hadn't been asleep. He had been staring at the ceiling, thinking. Mind whirling into a million inconspicuous thoughts and all coming back to the same, unintelligible answer. The theoretical probability of how hard it'd be to leave everything behind and go to the underworld. To see Noah. See if he could feel pain as he died, or if he was bleeding to death as he lay there, knowing that he was dying, and couldn't do anything about it. He bit his lip and raised his bare arms to circulate under his head, cupping the back of his skull with crossed fingers, as his throat pushed down spit that had been collecting, that he hadn't even noticed. Everything felt dry to him. He hurt inside, and no one knew what the fuck he was going through. Yeah, sure. Other people had lost Noah too. But losing his twin was losing an arm or a leg. He blamed himself constantly, as if he could have taken the car away that night. He could have. He could have just...

Damnit.

He turned onto his side and draped an arm over his eyes, sighing aloud. He felt the vibration of footsteps in his room and pulled his arm away to see Audrey snooping around his room. What the hell was she doing? He didn't want to see more shit that reminded him of his dead brother. It was like a huge ball of shit that people kept rolling him over with, stuffing it into his face until it came out his ears. He felt ashamed. How could he even move on from this? It felt like someone had just ripped a giant chunk of his metaphysical heart out and crushed it repeatedly. With an icy road and multiple car flips. Maybe some internal bleeding.

Needless to say, he was just fucking pissy and didn't want a girl in his room.

"Audrey." He flicked on the light and rubbed at his face, sitting up. He looked like he hadn't slept in weeks, and he had quite the nice little mini-beard growing from not shaving in a couple of days.
"What're you doing here, Audrey." He didn't ask. It was more of a demand. She smelled funny. Like some kind of new perfume she was trying on. It kind of smelled like Delilah's perfume. Fuck. Now he was thinking of Delilah. His brain whirled, and he found himself unable to control his physical responses. He had blown Delilah off for the past week and a half, ignoring pretty much everyone he came into contact with. He felt horrible about it, really. But if he saw her now, he'd probably fuck her within an inch of her life. Which would be pretty damn hard, since she couldn't die, so to speak. He ran his fingers through his hair and looked at Audrey, blinking. She was hurting, but not as much as him. The way her face was slightly creased into worry lines and her skin stained slightly from constantly crying her makeup off... She'd get over it. She had known Noah 3 years. Benjamin had shared a fucking womb with him. She definitely wasn't feeling like him. Not a goddamn chance.

"Just for tonight, then." He grabbed her arm instinctively and tugged her towards his bed, ignoring all common perception. Noah would be pissed in the underworld, but whatever. He didn't give a shit right now. If he didn't have sex, he'd go abso-fucking-lutely insane. Taking Audrey's face into his hands, he kissed her hard, flipping her over so she was underneath him. He needed control over something. It was the only way to actually stay relatively sane. And Audrey was a perfect pawn. Besides, she was using guys left right and center for sex. It was no better.

tags. Fate/Audrey
notes. Boop.
wordcount. Fuck that noise.
credit. Me, Rhia.

[AUDREY JOCELYN MADDINGS]

credit for the picture goes to ITSMELFTW! at caution 2.0

She was such a jerk. A jerk who just wanted to roll over and die already. She had been ignoring Benji in his time of need because she was in pain. Well, now that she was looking at Benji... she knew he was going through much worse. She should have known that from the beginning but no, she had to be the stupid person she was and not consider the brother of Noah to be suffering more then her. She should have been trying to help him, to talk to him, to apologize but all she could think about was getting on with him. Maybe she was turning into one of those sluts.

"What're you doing here, Audrey."

His voice was firm and demanding. Unlike the Benji she knew, of course was she anything like her old self? No. She was crazy to think that Benji was going to make her smile when he probably couldn't even begin to think of smiling ever again. She stood there, her hands fiddling behind her back, her eyes darting from his eyes to his body and then quickly back to his eyes. She bit her lip and watched him move closer. She was unsure if she should answer.... and if that had really been a question or just a demand. Finally, she spoke deciding it didn't matter. "Benji...I.." Yep, that was all she could mutter out as he moved closer and closer. Her eyes finally landing his lips.

Within seconds, he grabbed her arm and flung them both to the bed. So they were going to get it on. She knew Noah was cursing his head off right now but she also knew that he'd probably be doing tons of girls if she had died instead. In some whacked up way, this was a healing process. Or maybe she was just being a stupid hormonal teenager. Yeah, that was it. She was taken out of her stage of thinking when Benji grabbed her face and kissed her roughly. Full of intensity. She could already tell this wouldn't be the gentle sex she always assumed Benji would give. No, this was going to be a very rough ride for sure.

She was now under him, his weight only slightly crushing her. Her tongue explored every inch of Benji's mouth as she could feel him practically hold her down. Her hands went to the back of his neck, pushing his lips harder down onto hers. Her legs wrapped around his waist frantically and she took one hand and looped it under his shirt. Ripping it off within seconds, she gasped for air when she parted from their kiss. God, she felt like ripping all their clothes off right this second and it was no doubt he'd be doing that next. She wondered though, whether their friendship would ever be the same... or whether there would be one at all.

[BENJAMIN LUCAS HOWARD]

Benjamin hadn't seen the sun for a week now. The possibility that he would even open his blinds seemed a little unusual to the young man, and he often found himself in a perpetual state of mind where his eyes would just perceive the rough light blue blinds as the actual outside world. His roommate had found another room to stay in, disrupted at late night and early morning painting. He had painted stars on the blinds to mimic the night sky, because that's how it always was in his little world. Always nighttime. Nighttime was an unforgiving mess of drugs and alcohol, mixed with the scent of a cheap hookers perfume combined with a rich business mans cologne. There was no forgiveness in night time. Women still got raped, people still got stabbed and cars still slipped on ice before flipping three times and landing in a ditch. All the while, the gods of Olympus sat and did nothing. This wasn't a gift. Benjamin and Noah wouldn't even have been here if it weren't for the goddamn school. The stupid fucking powers. The fact that his mind worked at four times the capacity that it should have.

When he looked down to Audrey, practically begging for him to do something, he felt nothing. No deep connection, no instant love. This was all just some stupid fucked up way that the gods liked to toy with their lives. He frowned a bit and craned his neck down to hers before reaching up and completely taking her hands and pinning them against the pillows with just one of his own. His free hand roamed down the length of her body and found the button up her jeans easily, before popping it open and sliding them off easily, without unpinning her hand. He, on the other hand, had only a white army tank and boxers, which were now carelessly flopped onto the floor, along with her jeans, and soon her shirt, bra, and underwear. All without unpinning her from the bed. She was in this for good, now. Audrey had come to him, and he wasn't just going to let her go, even if she screamed no. He could just close his eyes and say he didn't hear it; it would be the truth. Raping his best friend was something he didn't really feel like doing, but, hell. She came to him. She must have expected something to happen. IT was her fault for climbing in his window. That much was obvious.

"Shhh." He whispered quietly, reaching up to hold her chin, firmly in one hand, while his other still kept her hands down. "This will only hurt a little." he bit her ear gently, grinning as her body arched towards his before pushing his chin up roughly to get at her neck. Truth be told, it wasn't exactly like his normal, "let's-just-fuck-and-get-it-over-with" self. No, today, he felt like getting a little fucked up, and fucking someone up with him. His tongue made it's way slowly up her neck, across her jugular, and along her jawbone, before he let her face go in order to hold down her hands separately, in case she felt like trying to escape from him holding her down and take control of the situation. She'd have time for that later. Right now, it's was Benjamin's playtime.
And Benjamin liked to play rough.

tags. Fate/Audrey
notes. MAN. YOU HAVE. NO IDEA. HOW MUCH. I WANTED. TO CONTINUE. THIS POST. |: FUCKING RULES. Anyway. We gotsa skip the sexytimes.
wordcount. Fuck that noise.
credit. Me, Rhia.

[AUDREY JOCELYN MADDINGS]

Her hands were in moments pinned against the bed and she gave a grin as his hand traced down her body. She squirmed a tiny bit as his he used his free hand to take her jeans off. His hand brushed against her thigh and she once again, grinned. Thank god she had worn sexy underwear. Her eyes drifted to his body which was only clothed in boxers and a tank. She'd only seen him in his boxers once or twice but in this situation he just looked so sexy. Her eyes stayed on his body as he ripped his clothes off and then soon as he ripped hers off too. This was so sexy, and it made her just want to go crazy. Lately Audrey, depending on the guy, would just go absolutely -sexy- insane. And of course, Benji was driving her to that -sexy- insanity level. She bit her lip, squirming just a bit, as Benji returned his gaze to her face. Her lower body lifted towards his as he grabbed her chin firmly and told her :"Shhh."..."This will only hurt a little." She let out a small giggle when he gently bit her ear.

Benji may be her best friend but by gods, they hadn't even really begun to get started and he was already driving her physical emotions insane. It was pretty sexy. She arched in towards him, her whole body pressed against his and felt his tongue go all the way up her neck to her jawbone. She caught his eyes and made sure he saw the huge grin on her face. She moaned a tiny bit as his tongue danced across her body and made her just want to grab onto his chest and get at him a little bit but whenever she tried to move her arms his grip tightened. He had already arranged it where he was using both hands to hold her down.

With each thing he did, her body would squirm but only out of pure pleasure. She would have never even thought that Benji would be this way in bed, and it was pretty...fuckin sexy. Finally, he eyed her and gave another Benji grin before...

------------

She collapsed back on the bed, Benji right beside her, and let out a huge gasp. They had gone for only the gods know how long and Audrey still wanted Benji to roam her body like he had earlier. Plus the fact that she had only had her way with him towards the end of it all, and even though the old Audrey would be practically dead, the new Audrey had learned to bounce back quicker. Her eyes fluttered open and scanned over Benji, who was facing her. They had somewhere in between gotten under the blankets, so his lower half was pretty covered but his upper half was displayed like an advertising board. She really did have to admit that he had a nice body. Something any girl would probably die for. Her thoughts changed from his body to Noah's, in which she remembered every detail of. He probably hated her now, but overall, she thought she really deserved to be hated. Sexing it up with his brother was just another thing she thought she should be hated for. Letting out a small sigh, she looked at Benji's face. She gave a small grin and then frowned. She didn't know what to do. Yet again her thoughts were torn in two. She wanted to repeat what had just happened but yet, she didn't. It was so confusing.

[BENJAMIN LUCAS HOWARD]

Thoughts buzzed around loudly inside Benjamin's head like they always did, making it difficult to concentrate on anything, let alone Audrey's breathless form beside him. Right now, everything was just a world of mingled thoughts, blurring his world around him. What had he done? He had just screwed his best friend; his brothers ex girlfriend. God, Noah would be so pissed off. Either that, or laugh in his face and yell, "Finally got some after a year and a half! She's good, isn't she?" Benjamin grumbled inside his own mind and shut his eyes, draping and arm over his face. This was just... so wrong, on so many levels. But the thought still came back to him. She had come here to do this, not the other way around. Technically, it was her own fault. Why else would the latest talk of the school be coming to his dorm room? Okay, so it was a little prejudice, but he had heard it from multiple people, and even Audrey herself, once. The rumours were true. No big deal. He was just another name to add to the list.

Sitting up, he rolled away from her and got off the bed, going to his dresser for some clean boxers. Once he had tugged the on, he gathered some clothes up for her and glanced to the window. His roommate would be back any minute from his own evening "stroll." He handed Audrey's clothes to her and smiled weakly.
"I'm not kicking you out, but you should probably get dressed since my roommate's due back any minute." He shrugged and let her take her clothes, going to the bathroom to rub alcohol in the scrapes she left on his arms and chest. She was pretty wild. He liked wild chicks. But the fact that it was Audrey... It was really, really weird. He also couldn't shake the feeling that he was thinking about someone else nearly the entire, if not the completely entire time. Now he just felt bad. He was even focused on her. Just the idea of her. He rubbed his face with a washcloth and returned to his room, trying to suppress the whirling vortex of thoughts that liked to creep up and attack him when he was least expecting it.

He needed to call Delilah. He hadn't spoken to her in a few weeks. Then again, he hadn't spoken to anyone in a few weeks. He didn't know what he expected from her, though. A big hug and a kiss? A pity-fuck? Aha. Yeah right, she'd probably tell him to suck it up or something. Sometimes she was a little heartless, but most days it was exactly what he needed to hear. Even if he didn't want to, or asked her not to, it always helped in some crazy fucked up way. That was how his relationship was with her. And, though he probably shouldn't have admitted it to himself, he loved it. And he loved her. What a stupid thing to do. Not only did he feel bad for himself, and for completely ditching Delilah, he felt horrible for poor Audrey, who was just completely out of it so badly that she slept with a bunch of guys just to fill the void. He sat down beside Audrey and flopped back onto his bed, exhaling loudly.
He was such a fucking idiot.

tags. Fate/Audrey
notes. sorry this is late. and shitty. idk. sorry.
wordcount. Fuck that noise.
credit. Me, Rhia.

[AUDREY JOCELYN MADDINGS]

Audrey sighed as she grabbed her clothes. He was sweet, just as Benji always was. He didn't have the guts to tell her to just get out. She watched as he went into the bathroom. The after-sex feeling was gone for sure. This was Benji, for gods sake. She shouldn't have even come close to breaking that line. Was she really that far in that she couldn't use the least bit of judgement? She closed her eyes and a tear ran down her face, before she opened them in time to see Benji's eyes through the mirror. Whether he had seen her cry, she wasn't sure. A small sigh escaped her lips before she tugged on her bra, then her tank top. Then she stood, hoping just a bit that Benji wasn't looking anymore. She slipped on her underwear and then sighed again. She was gonna need to do something with the scratches and bruises but she was used to that. When all her clothing was on, she walked to the bathroom. "I should go. I know you don't want your roommate to think that we did anything and well, if it's me then he'll think we did." She had a reputation, she knew that. "I'm sorry Benji. I guess I really messed up ... again." She walked closer into the bathroom, and leaned to him to hug him. It was the hug that she missed so much. Then when she was done, she looked in the mirror and brushed her fingers through her hair until it looked presentable.

With that she gave a weak smile to Benji before leaving the bathroom. She could feel his eyes dwelling on her as she got closer to the window. Then she turned, and met his eyes. "I never meant for things to turn out like this Benji, for me to be doing this and I wish... I wish I could've been the one in that car. Always." And that was it, she opened the window and made her way back to her dorm. A few tears rolling down her face as she did so.

NOTES :: its a suckish post, i know :l