I Feel So... ! - Paul & Scarlet

[SCARLET JOOK-LIANG LANCASTER]

Scarlet was curled up on her bed, looking over a small pile of textbooks, trying to memorize everything that was inside. Jon was still at school, teaching some sort of new technique to the class, so she was stuck home alone, studying. She rolled onto her back and sighed loudly, flopping an arm over her eyes as her other hand drew little circles on the small belly that was protruding from her t-shirt. It was flowy, so it still covered it up when she stood, but for now, she had it up, staring at the slight curve upward that was down there. She tilted her head and drew little shapes, before sighing loudly.
"Daddy's left mummy all alone to be bored." She laughed, then blinked when her stomach growled loudly. She was hungry. Or, rather, the baby was, so she really had no choice in whether she was hungry or not. Sitting up, she pushed herself to her feet and walked over to the little kitchen area, grabbing some food to make herself an omelette. She had everything in the pan and had it set to a low heat to cook, when she heard a loud, urgent knock on the door. Like a hasty person trying to get in quickly. When she went to the spyhole, she was surprised to see Paul standing outside, and opened the door quickly, motioning for him to come in.
"Paul? What's wrong? You look like death..." She blinked and closed the door behind him, turning to look at him quickly. "Are you alright? I would have never thought you would ever be here..."

[PAUL MICHAEL BRASS]

He'd gone back to his dorm. Then to the courtyard. Then to the meal hall, and none of it had been enough to distract him from the news that haunted him. So instead of avoiding it, he'd decided to throw himself back into the fire without having to face Aurelia yet. Somehow going to Jon's apartment had seemed like the lesser of two evils here, so he'd looked it up and gone over, praying that his brother wouldn't be there- he wasn't the one he wanted to talk to.

Several bus rides later (two of which had gotten him lost in the city) he arrived at the downtrodden street, gazing a little apprehensively at the shady looking building. Scarlet lived here too? Jeez, Jon he could understand...

Mounting the stairs, he arrived at the door and knocked quickly, glancing around him swiftly, as if this was some kind of undercover mission. As soon as the door opened he darted inside, ruffling his hair distractedly as Scarlet questioned him. He was just as surprised as she was that he had gone through with coming here, but he didn't want to get into some sort of psychology analysis of what made him tick just now.
"I have a problem, and I need you to help me, because I don't know what to do." He wasn't pleading, exactly. Impatience crept into his voice, and he glanced around the room, not really taking it in before he turned back to the girl, feeling something oddly like comfort in the familiarity. Okay, so he didn't have the greatest outlook on the students from Thaedeus, but she seemed almost normal (except for the fact that she dated his brother), and she was nice. She could help- or, he hoped so anyway.
"I need you to tell me everything about...you know...your kind." He shook his head, mouth twisting to the side as if he didn't know what to call them. When he looked around the cramped apartment again, he noticed the food set out on the counter.
"Oh..." His face fell, and he glanced over apologetically. "Were you about to eat? I didn't think to call before or anything..." It was only dawning on him now how rude this probably was.

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[SCARLET JOOK-LIANG LANCASTER]

A little startled by his initial upfront questions, followed by his sudden turn of interest in wanting to learn anything, Scarlet rubbed at her neck, before blinking at him, eyes wide with amusement as a smirk played on her lips. Reaching out, she took his hand, leading him over to the little table. Since Jon and her had moved in, she had made the apartment quite the little home, putting nice new wallpaper up and curtains as well as other tapestry-type decorations to make the place seem a lot more home-like than the outside looked. She had promised to make it look beautiful, and she had. But now wasn’t the time to pay attention to her interior designing skills. Once Paul was seated at the table, she went back to the stove, got her omelette, threw some leftover chicken and rice into the microwave and went over to the table with him, lowering herself slowly to the chair, as if it were a delicate process that hurt; which it did, but only slightly. It felt like someone was pulling on her spine whenever she bent or crouched. It was getting tiring, but the little one inside her didn’t mean to do it; it was Scarlet’s fault for being so tiny in the first place.

"About our kind?" She mused, grinning a bit as she took a bite of her omelette, before looking at the fork as she licked it clean. "What happened? Meet some cutie who sprung the big DG truth on you?" She glanced up at him, and, at the turn of the corners of his mouth in the downward direction, she put her fork down and blinked, eyes going wide.

"Oh, Zeus. You actually have feelings for one, don't you? Shit. I didn't mean to guess that... I'm sorry." She looked sincerely sorry, reaching over and patting his hand. She was intensely warm, despite the coldness of the apartment, but there was no electricity coming from her body. With an apathetic smile, she squeezed his hand tightly and pulled her hand away slowly, before getting up to grab the leftovers from the microwave. She returned to the table with the plate of food and slid it over to him, along with another fork.

"You eat. I'll answer any questions you have... Did she say who she took after? Mum or dad? Was she tested on?” She frowned slightly at the thought and looked down. "Poor thing... She must be so scarred if she's a mimic..." Her mouth turned downwards even more as she thought of Jonathan, before she resumed smiling weakly, looking up to him. "I'm going to go with the guess that she's a demigod?"

[PAUL MICHAEL BRASS]

She took his hand, grip gentle as she led him over to the table. He sat, a little confused as to why she was being quite so nice, but then again he'd never been given a reason to think that she had a mean bone in her body. The first time she sat he frowned a little, noting the stiff way she moved as if in pain. But her musings only brought his mind zipping back to Aurelia. Her guess was spot-on, and his expression turned sour, too drained to fabricate a cheerful denial.

It took him several seconds after her oath to realize that she wasn't making an assumption- but at the word Zeus he gave the tiniest of flinches. At least this confirmed that Zeus was a big player in the god game- important enough to be his own curse. Did he follow his children, or were there too many to- no. He was letting it all get away from him again- focus on one thing at a time.

Scarlet got up again and brought him the plate from the microwave- Paul was pleasantly surprised, and grateful. His bright eyes, so unlike Jon's followed the young woman as she sat back down again, gazing transparently at the way she delicately lowered herself into her chair.

"She's a Zeus demi-goddess." He'd only heard her say it once, but the scene kept playing back behind his eyes until he had the whole thing memorized. Now their kiss on the stage felt overshadowed with this. It made him wonder if he would have been happier just not knowing. But that wasn't fair...

"Hey..." His eyes narrowed as he left his fork hanging in front of his face, a piece of chicken speared on the end. Then his blue eyes widened noticeably, darting down to her stomach, eyes tracing the way the fabric of her shirt just barely touched against her belly. He'd seen her in a towel before, and while the image wasn't branded into his mind or anything, he was pretty sure that she couldn't fill out that shirt being the little twig she was, unless the rest of her bloated up too. He regarded her suspiciously for a few more seconds, weighing the chances of getting out of here alive if he said the wrong thing. But the way she sat, treating her body like it was far more fragile than it looked only fed Paul's sudden assumption.
"You're not..." He hunched his shoulders a little, hoping she might cut him off and set him straight.
"You're pregnant, aren't you." He blurted, voice a mingle of shock and triumph at having figured it out himself. Most surprisingly of all was that he felt dread- he didn't relish the thought of having a kid at nineteen, even if it was Jon, his taciturn brother.

[SCARLET JOOK-LIANG LANCASTER]

Scarlet blinked quietly as she stared towards Paul, amazed and surprised at how outwardly he had asked about the fact that she was pregnant. Her finger rose to her nose and she tapped it twice gently before grinning a bit and offering a small shrug to his inquiry.
"Yeah, I guess I can't hid behind the flowy shirts and stuff like that anymore. But can we talk about this after?" She motioned in between the two of them and frowned a bit. He was speaking about a girl he cared enough about to not only ask about Thaedeus, but also brave the possibility of Jonathan being home to talk about it one second, while avoid the topic all together the next. What a confusing lot the Brass family was.
"Tell me about this girl. Why do you like her? Is it worth breaking up with Chelsea?" Scarlet tilted her head, not really meaning to insult him or anything, just with a look of genuine curiosity on her face, before taking another large bite of her omelette. Paul was into a Zeus demigod, which was a big step up from the lesser gods. She recalled the specific way that she had witnessed a group of Zeus demigods leaning how to redirect lightning. It wasn’t an easy task, but all of them eventually got it down to a science, and could actually draw atmospheric pressure from around them to create lightning when they mastered directing it.

"Does she go to school with us?" It was a simple enough question, and she started to sort through all the demigoddes’ that he had encountered and made friends with while he was at the university. When it finally dawn on her that it was a certain person that she knew as well, her eyes went wide and she gasped his hand sympathetically.
"Aurelia told you." She stated more as a fact, then a question. She knew the two had been hanging out and being quite friendly with each other, but she thought it was just a friendly flirting competition. She didn’t expect them to actually start liking each other as anything more. Once she took her hand away, she continued slowly.
"She didn't even tell Dixon; he had to beat it out of one of her friends, right in front of her until she told him why she was... As he put it... “Such a fucking freak," althought I'll give it to him that he never told anyone after that... She probably would have left Seattle for good, if he had..." She frowned and ran her fingers through her hair, before smiling at him. "At least you know she likes you enough to tell you the truth right off the bat..."

Slowly, she moved her chair closer and pulled her hand away from his.
"Alright, so, it's best to start form the very beginning..." She began to speak generally about the process, and how parents gave up their children-willingly, or otherwise-to go under horrific experiments that generally left not only the child, but the parents scarred for life. It was a guilt they all had to live with for as long as their lifespan went on. Only when he understood how much it pained most parents to see their child in pain, did she moved onto speak about how the gods would impregnate a woman, or become pregnant with the demigods and then just up and leave out of nowhere, leaving the mother or father of the child to care for their new, powerful baby, and how sometimes the parents couldn’t handle dealing with them, and abandoned them for dead.
"In Aurelia's case..." Pausing, she looked down at her hands, which were resting in her lap with her thumbs making small circles on the bottom of her stomach. "You'll have to ask her yourself, but it's not a pleasant story to hear, and she doesn't particularly like talking about it."

[PAUL MICHAEL BRASS]

"Oh, wow...um, congratulations.." He didn't really know how to respond now that she affirmed his suspicion, and just as easily blew it off. He guessed that meant that she was cool with the whole thing- and obviously Jon would know- but wouldn't he have heard if they had told his parents? Reluctantly he decided to let it go- Scarlet certainly sounded sure that she didn't want to talk about it.

"Tell me about this girl. Why do you like her? Is it worth breaking up with Chelsea?"

He'd honestly been wondering the exact same thing- was it worth it?
"Ugh, I don't know..." He scratched the back of his neck, looking frustrated as he glared at the table. "She's fun to be around, fun to talk to. She was the first person I met on campus. But..." He shrugged. It was harder to explain than all that, but not everyone knew just what they liked in other people- yeah she was attractive, but he wasn't that much of a jerk to think that this was her only good quality. Picking at his food, Paul lapsed into silence, weighing the decision he held in front of him., but not for the reason Scarlet suspected. She was still asking about who it was, but he figured it was only a matter of time before she figured it out. How many demigods were there at his school anyway? How many Zeus demigods that his brother and Scarlet knew? And all this time he had thought that you could pick 'their kind' out from a crowd so easily, yet here he was.

With a heavy sigh, he set his fork down just as Scarlet guessed Aurelia- he wondered how many demigods he had encountered in Seattle without knowing it, but nodded distractedly. As confused, angry, betrayed as he felt, his blue eyes rose to Scarlet as she explained the situation with Dixon, brow furrowing as he felt his gut clench uncomfortably. What kind of person did that? He couldn't say that he was ready to take back all he had done, but it made him feel bad for what he must have put her through, backing away, acting like she was a freak. The fact that she felt comfortable telling him that she was a demigoddess was a small victory compared to the way Dixon had gone about it, but did all that matter if he wasn't going to act on it? Paul shook his head slowly, still looking at Scarlet as she started into the history he had asked for. He was still a bit distracted, but listened dutifully. It only raised more questions, but at least it didn't make the rift he saw between himself and the 'others' more extreme. The unnaturals were easier to understand- he'd lived with Jon after all- and seen firsthand what his parents had gone through even when Jon left for Seattle.

"You'll have to ask her yourself, but it's not a pleasant story to hear, and she doesn't particularly like talking about it."

He sighed again, running his hands through his hair, before starting out slowly.
"I don't know if I can...'get over' all that though." He looked away- it felt too much like he was insulting Scarlet, just because she was lumped in with the others. "You know I don't get alone with Jon, and it bothers me that Aurelia was treated badly but I can't get it out of my head that she's different." He leaned his elbow on the table, resting his head in his hands- this whole thing was giving him a headache. "Like, maybe she's not who I thought she was, or maybe it's just going to end badly, and I won't see it coming..." He was getting progressively more and more annoyed. "If was choosing between her, and Chelsea, it wouldn't be that hard." He rolled his eyes. He hadn't heard from his girlfriend in a long time, and they lived too far apart to visit over weekends or something- it was driving him crazy, and frankly he was more intrigued by Aurelia. If only she'd been human...

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[SCARLET JOOK-LIANG LANCASTER]

Scarlet felt her stomach clench, half in anger, half from the hormones freaking out in her mind as Paul became progressively more annoyed with himself. They more annoyed he became, the more Scarlet wanted to reach out and slap him. How could he say that stuff, right to her face? She was sitting right there, and he was trash-talking demigods as if they were some sort of... plague, or something. With a jerk of her chair, she stood up and grabbed her empty plate, carrying it over to the sink, before looking at him from the kitchen. After letting out a long sigh, she walked back over and flopped down in the chair gently, narrowing her eyes at him slightly.

"Yeah. We're so different. Not like we have feelings, or a human parent, or the fac tthat the gods modeled humans after themselves and their urges, but took away the powers to keep you all from killing each other. No. Yet when they want to have a little fun, and fuck up by getting pregnant, or getting some woman pregnant, it's all the kids fault that they're born with a little bit of extra DNA." She tossed her hands in the air slightly, before looking away. "Maybe we can direct lightning, or change people's emotions, or even heal someone who's about to die from bloodloss. And yes. That's all our fault that we get chastized by people just because our parents were horny." She looked at him and rolled her eyes. "Something that I'm positive you've experienced." She looked away again and sighed loudly, putting her hands in her hair and leaning on the table, before rubbing at her face. She looked up at him apologetically.

"I'm sorry, Paul. I didn't mean to explode... I haven't had any hormone suppresants today, yet. I told Jon I'd cut back in case, y'know. It hurts the baby." She motioned to her stomach, before putting her hand on her cheek, watching him intently.
"In case you didn't relize, however... You got over your stupid fear of Thaedeus students already. You're talking to one. About feelings, of all possible things you could ever talk to us about." She shrugged. "We're no less human than you. We've just got a little extra to offer." Looking at the way he was picking at his food, she sighed softly and ran her index finger along the eyebrow that had been singed off a few months before. With a soft sigh, she ran her tongue along the inside of her teeth and scooted her chair in closer to the table, before smiling weakly at him.

"And I can garuntee that Aurelia is as hurt as any normal girl would be if she told someone she cared about something really important, and that person just walked away... Although you didn't say anything stupid, right...?" She blinked. "Like, call her a freak or anything? She's still Aurelia. Still the person you met 3 months ago. Still the person you just locked lips with. Just a bit more honest. And trust me, it’s not something she goes around telling every average Joe. It took a lot of fucking guts for her to even consider telling you. There’s still time to make up for it... As long as you’re not going to be a fucking dick and treat her like she’s a monster, because she’s not.”

[PAUL MICHAEL BRASS]

Paul leaned back in his chair as Scarlet lectured him, mouth twitching down at the corners. He didn't blame anyone for being born a certain way, but he couldn't help the way he felt- would it be better to lie and pretend he was okay with it?

He sat in silence, just watching her as she cooled down, uncomfortable with the potent mix of guilt and worry that was writhing around inside of him. When she compared herself to others, he tilted his head slightly. He understood the point she was trying to make, but it just didn't make as much sense as it ought to to him.
'Yeah, but you're different. It's all different." He heaved another sigh- he wasn't trying to date Scarlet, she was in his life by default. She'd been to his home, accepted by his parents, so she was just there like she'd always been that way.
"I know I was stupid with how I handled it, but don't you think I was a little surprised? And how did you know we kissed?" His eyes suddenly narrowed suspiciously, but he continued slowly, pushing back his chair and standing. "I need time to think about this. Thanks for the food." He added quietly, picking up his plate to bring it to the sink, as she had done. He didn't know where he was going to go after this, but as he'd said, he needed time to think.

It wasn't just that he was already with someone. It wasn't just that Aurelia was a bit different. Were her powers responsible for the draw he felt to her? Was that all that he experienced whenever they were close, when they kissed? How much of it was him, and how much was her? How did she see him- just a human, compared to a superior demigod? He'd always gotten that feeling from Jon, like he was some sort of outcast that only shut himself out because he was above his family, and Paul resented him for it, resented to jab of jealousy over only being human. But it was those feelings that had shaped who he was- why he rejected what he saw as the freaks, and excelled in things like physical strength, and speed. He worked and worked, and never tried to get to know his own brother, because living a normal, average life was good enough.

He walked to the door, grasping the handle as if to let himself out.
"Thanks for talking to me Scarlet." He appreciated that she had agreed to share what she knew about Aurelia and demigods, but he wasn't sure if he was any closer to an answer.