|
Post by LENI ROSALIND WEIß on Jan 6, 2011 12:08:47 GMT -5
So needless to say I'm odds and ends But that's me, stumbling away... [/size][/center] Leni’s home was admittedly a bit farther from Schmitz Park than she would have liked. Perhaps she should have warned him, but it seemed even she occasionally forgot how long the length of ten blocks took to walk. Fortunately, the rain didn’t become heavier. It fell in a small drizzle around them, dampening her hair and her sweatshirt, but not quite soaking through to her skin. After all, she made sure her coats were thick, just in case. She’d learned that the hard way when she was twelve, skiing in the Alps. Turns out it’s not particularly fun to come down with pneumonia; who knew? Regardless, she still felt cold when they reached her house. Had she not been holding onto Chase’s arm, she probably would have been shivering. He stood tall enough to shield her from a good amount of the wind, and even some of the rain, quite to her surprise. Why did she never walk with anybody?
Right, because people generally weren’t trustworthy. Plus, she didn’t know how to act around them. That tended to be a rather large deterrent—for them.
That insecure little voice inside her still could not justify why Chase Dante had any desire to speak with her. The tiny part of her that told her again and again that everybody in the world was like her parents simply wouldn’t shut up. It prattled on in the base of her head, talking about how it was only temporary and that she shouldn’t think anything of it because obviously he would forget about it tomorrow. She tried to shut out the voice as they approached the doorway. At least the conversation hadn’t been entirely sparse during their walk. There were things to talk about—school, et cetera—and while she hadn’t been entirely smooth during the duration, she hadn’t been terrible, either. Perhaps conversation could be a learned behavior after all.
“It is not much, but this is it,” she said as they approached the door and walked up the steps. The keys jangled as she removed them from her pocket and slid one of them into the lock.
Her house always seemed to smell of baked goods; then again, she always seemed to bake when she was bored and it was too rainy to take Hamlet out for a walk. The dog in question bounded inside and into the living room, where he immediately flopped down onto a large pillow situated beside the fireplace. Leni gestured for Chase and Breeze to follow as she stepped inside and removed her shoes and jacket. The house felt much warmer than outside, as always. They would dry off shortly, especially with the help of a fire.
The kitchen was her first stop. Immediately, she put the kettle on the stove and retrieved a large mug from one of the top shelves. Tea was one of her favorite things in the world; perhaps it was a European thing. Curiously, she peeked back into the hallway, her mouth twitching into a smile when she saw him.
“Now… what is it you said you wanted to drink? I have a lot to choose from.” Surprisingly, the smile, soft and discreet as it was, did not fade. “Feel free to look in the cupboards and the fridge, unless you have something in mind. Do you like cookies?” She blinked; even she hadn’t expected herself to say that. “What I mean is… I made some this morning, if you care for them. Or if you are hungry and want something to eat, like a sandwich or, just… anything…” Heat began rising to her cheeks and she felt it. But she had been doing so well! All good things come to an end, unfortunately, and thus had Leni’s temporary comfort. Once again, this was an unfamiliar situation.
“I am sorry. I am not used to entertaining guests. But I would like for you to be comfortable.”
NOTES ||
[/b] oh, goodness. give her a post or two more and she'll calm down. as much as i love her, she's even starting to annoy me. i don't play delicate characters often. xP hope this is suitable! sorry i got all confused yesterday. i've been out of sorts for a while, haha. enjoy!TAGS || my lovely sylver and her handsome sir chase!WORD COUNT || 654CREDITS || meeeeee and take on me by a-ha
[/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote][/color][/font]
|
|
|
Post by chase on Jan 8, 2011 20:50:09 GMT -5
“It’s fine, don’t worry about me,” he answered, a laugh in his voice as he looked up. A reassuring smile spread across his face, catching on her stumbling voice. He just needed to give her time to get used to his too-fast too-close attachment, which hopefully will just boil over and be a usual routine. Now that they were in this close proximity, surely she would finally get over her discomfort with people. In due time. Hopefully. “I always seem to be comfortable wherever I am. Oddly. True story, though.” He grinned, as he started to take off his shoes by the front door, indicating Breeze to go inside with a nod. She obeyed quietly, going after Hamlet. Perhaps it was just being in a new place that subsided her elation, but Chase could never be too sure. She had been getting quite unenthusiastic since they walked through the rain, and suddenly he couldn’t help but slightly feel bad. Today was Sunday, which meant for a full run through the parks in the afternoon. But to where this was headed saw a little nothing of that, and that was probably why. That, or the rain, which he highly doubted. Still, he knew he couldn’t just walk away from this – he had all the time in the world to be with Breeze, and not so much with Leni. He had to make an exception; this might just be the first and last he’d get to be this close to her. Not that he was trying to get anywhere near i[]that [/i] subject, it was just that he knew both of them needed this: Chase to befriend another colleague, Leni to gradually get over her discomfort with others. The walk beforehand wasn’t quite bad at all, seeing as he got her to talk without being flustered every five second. Sure, now and again, a stumble would happen to one of them, but all in all, he was glad of the walk. Granted, it rained, which meant his white shirt would get soaked, which meant it would get soaked and turn see-through, but his hair at least got smoothed. Still, he couldn’t have been happier with his decision of taking her arm; he hadn’t anticipated for her place to be this far, and she looked as if he was thankful for the closeness of their bodies for warmth. At least he got that much from her not complaining or making up an excuse to distance themselves apart, anyway. He just hoped she wouldn’t notice the state of his shirt. “And of course I like cookies. Though apparently, you like baking,” he stated coolly, playfully putting on a disgusted face as he spotted what she was holding. If he wasn’t right, then he may as well have his nose checked out. From the moment the door opened, the whiff of a bakery was the first thing that met his attention, catching his interest almost immediately. He just wished for Breeze to stop sniffing the air; how rude. As he neared to where she was, he placed a hand on the counter, feeling the coolness as he walked towards the fridge. He had always admired furniture, and was utterly impressed by hers. Though not a very male quality, he didn’t mind for everybody or anybody to know at all – come to think of it, he didn’t mind anything much. Save for tea. Tea was just horrible. Though apparently, she thought otherwise. “Wow, you weren’t kidding when you said alot to choose.” He paused, eyes trailing along every label. “But you know, I think I’ll just go the old fashioned way.” He smiled, taking the bottle of clear water and shutting the door. It seemed to impolite to get anything else, seeing as this was his first time here. He always had a thing for manners. As he stood straighter, he raised the bottle to her and smiled. “Called to me, told me I should compliment it with some of your delicious cookies. Now, I wouldn’t mean to be forceful, but I think Water Bottle has a point.” He laughed softly, not wanting for this one joke to go out of hand. “So you live here alone, huh? When did you first move here?” [/blockquote] -------------
sorry no fancy thingy is up -- internet :\
|
|
|
Post by LENI ROSALIND WEIß on Jan 12, 2011 1:40:00 GMT -5
It seemed unlikely that that Leni “wouldn’t worry” about a guest, specifically because she rarely ever had guests to her house. In fact, she could not remember a time since she’d moved here that somebody else had been inside her private space. In theory, this fact should have made her even more uncomfortable than the situation already did, but she didn’t feel too strangely about having somebody else inside her house, handling her things. The downstairs wasn’t particularly sacred ground, though. The upstairs… Well, that was something different, but Chase most certainly would not see that. What was up there other than her room and an extra bathroom? Nothing interesting, of course. And besides, the fireplace was down here. Creature of habit as she was, Leni never liked being far from a source of warmth. Upstairs on her bed, she had a heating pad that she often turned on when she read at night. Down here, the fire did that for her. Needless to say, she liked to be warm.
Straightening her red blouse, Leni moved from the stove to the counter and uncovered the cookies that sat there. She smiled when she realized they were still just barely warm. Tin foil was actually pretty useful when it came to trapping heat. They still smelled delicious. She took a moment to discreetly test the scent in the air before pushing the plate of cookies toward him invitingly.
“I love to bake, actually,” she said with a tiny smile. “It might be a German thing. Their bread here in America is not what I am used to, so I usually make my own on Saturdays.” She decided to stop there; if she kept talking too much, he would surely think she was silly. If there was one thing Leni did not want to be viewed as, it was silly. After all, she was a teacher, a woman of words, a very serious person. There were times, however, when she wished she could be a little less serious. Secretly she watched many comedies when she was alone. When she first came to live in America, she found it difficult to really absorb the humor in most American movies and television shows. But she became accustomed to it after a while. Watching them made her feel further from home, which was a blessing as of late. Anything that kept her from thinking about her recent contact with her father…
She opened her mouth to speak again, but the whistle of the kettle interrupted her. Turning to take it off the stove, she cast a single glance back at her houseguest. It wasn’t possible that she was creating a friendship… was it? Leni swallowed as she poured the hot water into her tea mug and topped it off with a little bit of milk. His joke actually made her laugh, a short, perky chuckle that hung in the air moments after it ended.
“You may help yourself to anything,” she told him, “especially the cookies. I certainly am not going to eat them all myself. You can feel free to sit, too, of course.” Carefully, she clasped her mug in her hands and stepped out of the kitchen, across the small dining room, and into the living room. Placing her drink upon a coaster on the coffee table, she brushed aside the metal screen over the fireplace. When he spoke, she turned to regard him for a moment, pursing her lips as she thought about the answer. “I have been here four years. And yes, I have lived alone for many years. My mother…” She stopped; no, she would not talk about that. Distantly, she turned back to the fireplace, slipping a few logs into it and lighting it quickly. “After graduation, I moved back to Germany for a while to clear my head. It is beautiful there, if you’ve ever been. I miss it a lot.”
For a moment, Leni seemed miles away, a faint smile creeping over her lips, before she shook her head quickly and brought herself back to the moment. Hamlet glanced at her from his pillow before looking back over at Breeze, his tail beating gently against the floor as he watched the other dog intently. Leni, on the other hand, looked at her guest and shrugged a little.
“You must have gone to school here, but where are you from? You are new on the faculty. You must have been somewhere between now and school.” She reached forward and grasped her cup, biting her bottom lip gently. “I don’t mean to pry, of course.”
NOTES || [/b] don't apologize for that! xD your post was great. chase is fantastic. i couldn't find any new lyrics, but maybe next time around.TAGS || my lovely sylver and her handsome sir chase!WORD COUNT || 766CREDITS || meeeeee
[/blockquote][/blockquote][/color][/font]
|
|
|
Post by chase on Jan 16, 2011 21:52:19 GMT -5
“Oh, pry if you feel the need to.” He paused, pursing his lips as he felt the slick cold of fresh water run down his throat and into his system.
“I won’t mind.”
There was something unusual about the way that sentence was brought up, and how it got to that point was still a question even to him. Making him glance down to the swaying water inside the bottle, and ponder a little. If his friends could see where he was now – teaching arts, tied down in a condo with a dog and a roommate, instead of venturing the world ceaselessly, the never-ending intrigue motivating through his veins. Of course, no one really knows where they end up altogether, but the clues to ending never really got old either. Same would go for his way of thinking, which, if not already mature, would already have learned from all types of experience. He flirts with women with boundaries, gets into any kind of messy situation but only resort to play the same game if chances looked to go bleak, and would only get drunk if he was given no other choice but to be just that. He was loose, bound by his morals and follow the rules of alchemy. There was once a moment where he thought to just give up on teaching, which, coincidentally, was actually just last week. He looked up towards her direction, pocketing his hand, just for something to do. He wasn’t one to miss any flaws or hiccups, so there was no way he would overlook her hesitance in a particular sentence that was delivered.
Underneath was a mystery just waiting for him to unravel, and perhaps inevitably result this thing between them into something stable. Like friends.
Yet in his mind, the thought of exhibiting false images was a vindictive act that only he himself knew about. About himself. Because he wasn’t one to open his past, his personal lifestyle, his goals, his inside thoughts. He wasn’t one to get anyone tangled to his personal life, where personal things happen with personal people. He wasn’t one to talk about things about him, not even remotely a word about his family or his friends. He knew he gave the image of easy-going, shoulder-to-lean-on, someone-to-talk-to, and to follow along he knew he gave the image of being well-known. Not as in popularity-wise, but in a more in-depth manner. So he knew he couldn’t very well subtly interrogate the details of her life, because he wasn’t one to talk about it either. It wasn’t an adult thing, or a teacher thing. It was just him. Even when he was young, he gave the sense of whole-life-known-very-well-by-everyone-but-is-actually-a-mystery-portraying-as-an-open-book; mystery was always something he was good at, it was a force of habit that never looked to change. If he was to only know as far as her loving the smell and crisp texture of heated bread and finished makings of once-squishy dough, feeling her spirits lift just by the thought of it, he would be just as content to leave the subject still. Yet now, he couldn’t shake off the feeling of an opening appearing, somewhere in her wall.
Was it possible that she was feeling that comfortable, in that much time, around him?
Granted, the little bits and pieces looked shady, but she was smiling.
Mentally, he applauded to himself.
And awarded himself by grabbing two cookies as he took his unoccupied hand out of his pocket, and started towards where Leni situated herself. Well, if she was willing to share bits and pieces, two could play the game.
“To be honest, I only went to Germany to hold the true image of the Berlin Wall to be pasted in my head forever, but even though the locals gave shifty eyes,” he confessed, smiling as memory served him, “to be there in winter is absolutely breath-taking. Literally.” To bring slight light to his personal teaching, he wasn’t going to fully admit the answer, but instead detail things delicately. Piece by piece, in order of the principle of alchemy. Something of a feeling going against this proposition was just the problem. He smiled, and took a sit on the couch, opposite to her, as he faced the bright, comforting heat before him. “And now I can honestly say I know what the Berlin Wall is, how it came to be, and what stories lay within the debris. One cannot truly say they know a particular thing just by saying it. The eyes must be a witness, otherwise it’s just a bunch of empty words and false pride.” He paused. “Well that, and I was dared to.” A laugh came with the final words, before he lay a cookie on his thigh as he took a bite on the other. What he expected from the taste wasn’t what he had expected – in fact, it was far from what he expected, although what he actually expected wasn’t honestly in his mind. Rather, more of a reflex. But to just get back to the point, the rough texture of the cookie was delightful, and was just oddly right for the situation. There goes my cravings diet. Oh hell, Abi’s gonna kill me. “Wow,” was all he could utter, as he took another bite. Realizing where his thoughts were headed, he cleared his throat and smiled, swallowing the last pieces. “Amazing, even though I am probably close to getting diabetes.” A soft laugh was emitted after that, as he continued, “Italy is also a place of serene beauty, especially during summer. Beautiful.”
But the thing was, he was already intrigued. And for what it was worth, he just really needed to ask.
“Did something happen to your family?”
|
|
|
Post by LENI ROSALIND WEIß on Jan 22, 2011 23:21:22 GMT -5
Leni spent so much time alone that she often forgot what it felt like to genuinely smile. Everyone forced smiles during the day and she was no exception. Whether it was a passing acknowledgment or an automatic response to a student, she very rarely felt her smiles were authentic because she was seldom pleased or in good company. It felt good, but also strange. Could it be that she was having a good time? Chase seemed nice and patient, which helped her to relax however slightly. As she held the warm mug in her hand, she felt her shoulders slacken and she took another sip of her drink. Self-disclosure felt quite strange to her; she wasn’t used to telling people anything personal about herself. It had been so long since she’d spoken to someone else for this long about anything other than school that she’d forgotten that long conversations often led to some admission of personal information. Her eyes flickered up at him in interest when he began to speak again. He’d been to her homeland, had he? Again, the corners of her mouth twitched slightly, but she hid it with another sip from her tea mug. Despite the joke, she agreed; Germany in winter had always been beautiful. Everybody back home loved the season, for everything from the snow and skiing to Christmas and rich winter foods. Leni loved it, too. Seattle winters were not nearly as charming and special.
“The snow is beautiful in winter,” she murmured from behind her cup, gray eyes trained on his face. “My favorite season of the year back home.” Nimble fingers tucked a thick lock of dark hair behind one ear. Reaching out, she grasped a cookie and studied it for a moment before nibbling at it. Again, she glanced at him. It was nice to know somebody had some appreciation for her culture. She felt quite a strong connection to it herself. However, she couldn’t help but laugh a little when he finished. Men and their dares! It seemed none of them could turn one down. Frankly, Leni found it funny. Shaking her head, she averted her eyes and smiled down at her lap almost shyly. “I actually have not been to Berlin many times, if you can believe it. I lived in Würzburg after I was born until I came to school, and Frankfurt after… so I probably don’t have much more experience with the city than you do. But it is beautiful there. The Wall is a wonderful site.” Leni took another sip of her tea before placing it back on the coaster.
His comment about the cookies certainly upped her spirits considerably. Leni rarely got to share her cooking or baking with anybody else for obvious reasons, and she was glad somebody else could enjoy it for once. Chase certainly seemed to like them, too. She doubted somebody who looked like him was close to diabetes. He seemed thin and fit, not like the regular victim of such a disease. A tiny, almost inaudible chuckle escaped her thin, pale lips.
“I am glad you like them. Usually I am the only one eating them, but I never finish a whole batch before they get stale. I try to avoid eating too many sweets, too.”
The evidence of this was clear by the single cookie she still held half-eaten in her hand. Leni was partial to savoring things. She perked up slightly when he mentioned Italy. How interesting that he would answer her question without really answering it directly. It never occurred to her that somebody as seemingly outgoing as Chase would be at all reluctant to talk about himself. But she realized that he hadn’t said much about himself at all. This puzzled her. It seemed he found a way to ask her all the questions without answering any himself – at least thus far. It seemed rather backward.
Of course, another question threw her off-guard.
“Uhm,” she stuttered, blinking, and then sighed. Frankly, considering what she was, her story was not all that strange. Avoiding it did nothing. If she abbreviated it, she was sure he wouldn’t mind. “Well… I’m an unnatural. I would not be, if I had the choice.” Like that was news. She couldn’t think of a single unnatural who wouldn’t change their situation if they could. “Needless to say, I do not have much of a family. Father left Mother, and Mother left me. It is as simple as that.” Again, she brushed her hair back almost nervously. She didn’t much like talking about her family for obvious reasons.
Biting her bottom lip, she searched her mind for a question to ask or something else to say.
“I could ask you the same question. If you are from Italy, what are you doing here in Seattle? Is it just for the job?”
NOTES || [/b] sorry this took so much longer than usual! both my birthday and my mom's was this week, so I was super busy. hope you don't mind! ^_^TAGS || my lovely sylver and her handsome sir chase!WORD COUNT || 808CREDITS || meeeeee
[/blockquote][/blockquote][/color][/font]
|
|
|
Post by chase on Feb 1, 2011 0:28:23 GMT -5
He mentally slapped himself.
Of course there was bound to be unpleasant weeds near the roots of an otherwise beautiful flower. He refrained from blinking twice, and instead furrowed his eyebrows, his eyes softening as she spoke of her past. Regardless of the fact that it was a total of five sentences, they were worth enough for him to keep in his memory. Still, his gift in deduction seemed to never waver from being categorized as a good thing or a bad thing. He needed no amount of worldly experience to feel the emotions hiding behind her spoken words, and near his heart, he felt something genuine. Her past wasn't of the same storyline as his, but nevertheless, one particular fact seemed to bear them down with the same weight. His Olympian mother left them before he could have had the chance of even opening his eyes to see her face, and be in his memory forever. His craving to just see her, he knew, was nothing compared to how his father had and will always feel.
"I would not be, if I had the choice.
[/color]" Something of a deeper meaning ran through that particular sentence, ringing endlessly in his mind. He needed to utter no questions on that part – every word in that sentence spoke for itself, and for everything she felt inside. That part, he couldn’t relate. He had been taught to love everything and anything that proved to be a blessing and a gift in his life, and he had. He enjoyed and took heart everything he learned and taught, he took pleasure in the company of those he knew felt the same about him, and only spoke in unpleasant language in particular situations. He had never, by his counting, uttered a wrong or a complaint about his life. Perhaps the teachings and many events that occurred during his trip around the world made him what he was in the present, but he was sure he felt the same when he was young. He found himself intrigued by how much she could see of her home country, and feel the undying ties her heart still held for the place, despite the long years away. He rarely ever felt that way, but of course that was because of the lack of not-being there in the first place, that he could reason. She managed to stand straight and true for her country, and acquaint herself to her surroundings despite Seattle having not even a single German feeling. " Is it really the same question[/i]?" he started, arching an eyebrow in humoured question. He smiled – this question he could answer easy. " Regardless, I do owe you as much of an answer as you answered mine so …[/i]" Pausing, he took another cookie, but refrained from taking a bite. He found himself looking down at the crusty texture of the snack, meaning to speak the following words as genuine as she had been. " Honestly, I don't know anymore.[/i]" As he looked up to meet her eyes once more, he smiled apologetically. " I have never strived for anything more than performing, but I also see passion in teaching. I can entertain, but to be showered alone with all the glory feels … unsettling.[/i]" He shivered in spite of himself, slowly taking a bite of the cookie he held. He had contemplated on this subject non-stop ever since he started teaching in their school, debating back and forth whether or not he should continue his travelling. A couple of weeks in, and yet he was still thinking about it. " I came here because … I guess I wanted to see where I am in my life. [/i]" He shrugged, realizing how much of a loose cannon he seemed to sound. In all honesty, nothing in his life seemed serious. Sure, the performing and the teaching looked it, but beneath the enthusiasm and responsibility and commitment, all he was really doing was evaluating himself. He observed and evaluated. He walked where life took him. Beneath the ties and the suits and the teachings, he lived recklessly and uneven. In truth, he had only become more stable and a little more decisive on things when Abigail moved in. " You know, what you said isn't entirely true. Teachers are like the second parents to the students[/i]," he continued, gesturing to her with the open bottle, " except with more boundaries. [/i]" Taking a swig from the bottle, he studied her face, trying to determine what lay beneath the grey eyes. He had truthfully never met anyone as reserved as her, and couldn’t verify very well what to predict and anticipate. And then he realized how complicated he was. " And actually, I am quite a fanatic for candies. I cannot detail enough how much I consume it every day[/i]," he confessed, a laugh eliciting from his open lips. From the moment his roommate moved in, he had also started to debate whether or not she was a good thing. Laid-back as she was, Abi had slightly restricted his sugar consumption. And though that may seem a healthier lifestyle, he couldn't help but miss his old life. Actually, now Leni had just given him another reason to like her even more. As he felt quite elated that he made her laugh with one of his none-too-obvious jokes and lines. In all honesty, the cold atmosphere did literally take his breath away, and apart from deciding that he would, he had also been dared to – dared to stay there for two days with only the locals to keep him company. The only sad part was, he didn't even remotely understand and learn German. " You know I don't really mean to pry in your personal business," he spoke softly and slowly, trying to tell her that he wasn't going to be as forward[/i],"yet I cannot help but be intrigued and sorry for what happened at the same time." Because somehow, I know how you feel. " Do you … ever visit Germany anymore[/i]?" He paused. " Contact your mom[/i]?" [/blockquote] ----------
OOC: hooolyyy cow! 1005 words -- *shivers* sorry about the waffling, but i think i've finally! found my muse with chase and how i'm supposed to think when rping him. I hope this post is alright :] by the way, sorry it took so long -- but january birthday? haha that’s awesome! I just had my birthday last week, actually ^^
|
|
|
Post by LENI ROSALIND WEIß on Feb 2, 2011 3:18:09 GMT -5
Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea after all.
Odd as it felt to her, Leni slowly came to realize that she was enjoying this visit and his company, despite the admittedly uncomfortable questions about her past. She was unused to divulging that sort of sensitive information upon meeting someone. For that matter, she was unused to divulging that information at all. She didn’t face her past; she ran from it instead, whether here to America or simply by pushing it to the deep, cavernous recesses of her busy mind. Other things always distracted her, though usually purposefully. What would Chase think if he knew she hated everything about her past, and in extension, about herself? Because her father didn’t want her and preferred to create another family, she felt betrayed and useless. But that was nothing compared to her mother’s treachery. Leni wished she didn’t have to remember that awful, sick, helpless feeling of watching her mother walk away from her as government guards held her back. She remembered screaming, begging not to be left, but Ilsa did not so much as turn around. Years later, Leni came to the terrible conclusion that she had not been given away, but sold to the government to be tested and tortured. The thought still left a bad taste in her mouth twenty-two years after the fact.
For some reason, all of this almost made her more resentful of herself than even her parents. What wasn’t good enough about her? What about her doomed her to live a life of being left by the people she trusted the most? She had to remember that many others of her sort – those fated to be unnaturals – went through similar traumas in their lives. But so many of them were able to move on with their lives, forge normal friendships and relationships, and live with what they were forced to be. Leni could not. She felt that made her weak; she didn’t like feeling weak, but she dealt with it every day. It became a part of life, and weeks and months always passed inconsequentially. Nothing exciting ever happened, nothing out of the ordinary. She stuck to a schedule and it worked reasonably well for her. The lack of socializing kept her comfortable, if not happy, so today proved to be an oddity in a long string of very formulaic afternoons.
“I can understand that,” she replied, keeping her eyes mostly trained on him now instead of looking nervously at her lap every few seconds. “Although… I suppose the idea of being onstage in front of so many people is unthinkable to me. I respect people who can do so. But it is good of you to share your talents with students. What is a performing arts instructor – any teacher, really – without talent and passion?” Even Leni knew she was fairly good at teaching. The only time she could ever be confident was in her classroom. But as reserved as she was, she had her doubts about how interesting her classes were sometimes. Somebody like Chase, a born performer, would be amazing, an entertainer as well as an instructor. She wished she could watch him teach someday. Maybe she would learn something.
His next comment proved harder to relate to. For a moment, she appeared puzzled, but it wouldn’t be the first time she’d heard of people moving around to different countries to find themselves. Strange. Chase seemed like the sort of man with a solid head on his shoulders, like he knew where he was headed. But who really knew, anyway? Leni simply went where she was needed, and where there was work. Thaedeus asked for her and here she was. She would either stay in Seattle or she would move back to Germany eventually, although she felt avoiding her home country until this issue with her father was sorted out might be a good idea.
“I can see how you would fill that role well for them,” she answered with a touch of a smile. “You seem like the kind, nurturing sort. I am not sure how good I am at that, but I try to be as helpful as I can. I am better at speaking to students than people closer to my age. Obviously.” [/b] She chuckled almost nervously, tucking some hair behind her ear, and then laughed outright at what he said next. “Somehow, I am not surprised, considering how much you seem to like my cookies.” She laughed softly again, glancing at the plate on the table in front of them. “I am glad to have somebody to share my baking with. I also have some good chocolate from Germany. I try to eat it a little at a time because I get it shipped, but it is very good, if you would like some.”Leni realized that she’d never offered to share her small hoard of chocolate with anybody before, which left her wondering if that was because she wanted it for herself or whether she simply never had anybody to offer it to. She decided on the second one. “It is really all right. I rarely speak of it, but I suppose it is good to talk about it occasionally. I appreciate your concern.” She hesitated, pressing her lips together in thought for a moment. “The prejudices are not as bad as when I was in school, but I know many of the children went through the same treatments I did. I feel so happy for those who have found families, but for those who have none…” A sigh escaped her. “I can only hope that they don’t let themselves grow up alone like I did. It is easy to do.”Maybe not that easy for others, but it had been for Leni. “As for my mother… I have not spoken to her since I was eight and she gave me to the government. I do not know if she is even alive, but I do not consider her or anybody my mother, because a mother would not do what she did to me. As for my father…” Another small sigh. “He has tried to contact me, but I have no interest in seeing him. If he had only taken me with him when he left, I would not be how I am.”Her eyes widened just a bit; perhaps she said too much. She certainly felt as if she had, but she rarely had anybody to share anything with. She just hoped the information didn’t make Chase uncomfortable. “What about your family? What are they like?”It would be terribly nice to hear about a normal family, if he had one. ---------------------------------------
OOC: Yeah, woah, this post sort of exploded, too. 1114. 0_0 She had a lot more to say than I previously intended, apparently, and your post filled me with muse! Don't feel like you have to match lengths. xP Loving this thread, though. He's adorable. Still. ^_^ Happy late birthday, by the way! I hope it was wonderful! [/blockquote]
|
|
|
Post by chase on Feb 6, 2011 21:26:55 GMT -5
Chase was stumped.
Beforehand, before he had asked such a question, he had already realized that formality and simple context would be given to him, but instead a much deeper answer was willingly given to him. Perhaps - wait. Had he really done what he thought was impossible - was she really starting feel comfortable around him? Him, Chase Dante, the nice performing arts professor of only two students? But instead of applauding to himself, he stayed quiet. He swirled the bottle around, made himself look as if he was thinking.
He didn't want to speak. He didn't want to answer.
It wasn't that his family wasn't great, or nurturing, or made him feel unwelcome, because they didn't. It wasn't that he was ashamed to talk about his personal life, or that he didn't like his childhood, because he would talk about it all with great gusto. It wasn't that he detested his past, or that he hated his parents for giving him such a life, because he didn't. He loved his father, loved his adopted siblings, loved every waking minute of every day he breathed. He loved that he had travelled the world with his best friends for a whole two years of his life, loved that he was able to teach something he had wild passion for doing. He loved his Olympian mother, regardless of that fact that she left him and his father. He loved who he was, who he was becoming, and what kind of an influence he knew he brought to the school.
It was just that fact that he had never talked about his past, or his personal life, to anyone.
Well, granted, he would be asked by the students of what it was like back in his day, ask about his life before he taught in Thaedeus, when he decided to have some recreational time during his session, but had always managed to avoid the bullet. He would laugh, say something vague but intriguing enough for them to be satisfied, and subtly change the subject to one of the students, asking them why they decided on doing what they did, yada yada. Sure, he was very willingly open to comments, to possibilities, to ideas, but he was never really willing to open himself to anyone, or to the world, for that matter. It had always been this way, ever since he was a kid. His family name was well-known, and whenever he was out with his family in a gathering of a fancy sort, a never wavering assumption And then his value for personal matters climbed to a higher place, unwilling to be told.
"My family? My family ...
[/i]" It seemed that timing came in his time of distress, as he felt the soft, warm and damp nose of Breeze nudge on his knuckle, grabbing his attention. He knew what she was seeing in his eyes, and felt himself smile as she laid her head over his hands. " I have never really felt like I belonged, and I guess I still do.[/i]" He placed his hand over head, and felt her velvet smooth fur slip from his touch as she turned back to her previous company, away from him. " Don't get me wrong, though - I love my family. They put up with me for the most desperate times in my life, and I could never have asked for a better one.[/i]" Especially my dad. " But, I guess despite all that, when you truly realize you can't belong, you just suddenly wish for some guidance. Guidance from the mother ... mother you know you won't ever get to see.[/i]" Closing his eyes, he tried to picture her again, but all he could see were soft lips smiling, and hear a laughter that spark his most dreary days. " I hate that I can't picture her, even though I've tried so many times. Look, I know I can't really say anything in your business but ...[/i]" He ran a hand through his hair, placing his elbows on his lap as he leaned forward. " Certain things happen in life for other certain things to be had. There are always things in the past that will cling to us, desperate as we may be to be rid of them. If you aren't this person with me now, then we might never have met in the first place. You might still be in Germany, in a work that doesn't involve seeing kids everyday. And I wouldn't have had the chance to raid your batch of delicious cookies.[/i]" He paused, smiling as he took yet another cookie. " I'm not saying that you deserve all the pain you went through, because you don't. I'm saying, please don't regret. There are certain things in life that hold us to things that we want to forget, and regret is one of them.[/i]" And though knowing he had gone to his usual ending with subjects subjected towards him, he felt his answers were a little deeper, and it made him quite glad. Perhaps it was an unspoken mutual feeling, but he felt quite fortunate for running into her that day, though not in a way he had expected. It wasn't accurate, but he had a feeling that she wasn't the kind to smile to herself in the mirror every morning. " And also, you're kind of the only German who's actually not beaten me with a stick, or screamed uninterpreted curses in your mother tongue. That's kind of new for me[/i]," he confessed yet again, smiling reassuringly towards her. " Did you mention chocolate?[/i]"[/blockquote]
|
|
|
Post by LENI ROSALIND WEIß on Feb 8, 2011 3:39:44 GMT -5
Leni truly didn’t mean to pry. Had she known he felt so uncomfortable answering her questions, she would not have asked. But it somehow felt like the natural flow of conversation to inquire of him what he’d requested of her. The question made her uneasy as well, but then again, what didn’t? Everything seemed to push her out of her comfort zone, a fact that continued to frustrate her throughout her entire life, from her youth in school to her adult life now. She’d come to realize somewhat recently that her communication problems might well have stemmed from her inability to communicate in her first year at school. Her proficiency in English was hardly broad then, and as adolescents so often do, her classmates made fun of her for it. She took an English as a Second Language course and tried to keep up in her other classes, but that did little for the self-esteem that suffered daily.
Long ago, she wrote herself off as a weak person. That opinion still hadn’t changed. Perhaps it was the easy way out, to think that way, but she hadn’t decided yet if she cared. In her professional life, she worked as hard as she could. In her personal life, or lack thereof, she tended to find loopholes.
Somehow, she didn’t find it difficult to sense Chase’s difficulty in telling the story of his family, even in so many words. Remorse crept through her, from her core to the tips of her fingers and toes, nagging at her, tugging at her expression until she wore a more apologetic look. No matter what he’d asked her, she had no desire to make him feel awkward in her home, especially about something so personal. She nearly stopped him, but her want to know restrained her as he spoke. The look he displayed now was one she was quite familiar with; she wore it any time somebody asked her any sort of personal question.
Of course, the way Chase phrased everything sounded infinitely smoother and more beautiful than any answer she ever managed to give to questions. She knew what he meant. Not, perhaps, in the same way he meant it, but she knew all the same. She thirsted for guidance, for somebody’s advice that she could trust, but when she looked around, she found no one. Her mother was dead for all she knew, and she was never much of a mother to begin with. Leni never felt loved at home; she felt like an annoyance. Her father was always too busy with work when she was a child. Despite his attempts to contact her now, she simply wasn’t interested in a relationship with him.
But to never know one of your parents, to never look them in the eyes, to never know what sort of person they were… that was a pain she did not understand. She had the luxury of knowing that her parents were not savory sort of people. Chase did not even have that where his mother was concerned. Leni felt a rush of pity and an odd desire to offer some sort of comfort, though it was an admittedly strange impulse. What could she do? In her mind, she imagined reaching out and touching his arm, perhaps, but her body simply wouldn’t obey. A quiet sigh escaped her; she felt disappointed in herself for yet another failure.
When the subject changed, Leni blinked, slightly surprised at the swiftness of the conversation – and the subject matter. Rarely did she meet people, men particularly, with such deep, rational opinions about such profound things. She was vaguely aware that her mouth might have been slightly open as she regarded him with wonder and muted curiosity, but she ignored the fact because what he said was so intriguing. He was right, of course; he hit the nail right on the head. Leni spent most of her life being scared because of what had happened to her in her youth. That didn’t seem right, but it was a hard habit to break this far in life.
For a long time, she remained silent, processing his words and only chuckling when he made his joke, punctuating his speech in a surprisingly effective way.
“I promise not to do that,” she told him lightly. “Unless you act like a dummkopf. Then I may have to.” Huh. Had she really just teased him? Surprised, she blinked before shaking her head and almost leaping to her feet. “Chocolate! Right, of course. It’s wonderful, you’ll love it…”
And with that, she was back in the kitchen, rifling through her drawers until she found her hidden stash of German chocolate tucked to the back of one of them. Leni really wasn’t quite sure why she bothered to hide it. Nobody else lived in this house to steal it. Maybe it made her feel more as if she wasn’t so alone. Absently, she wandered back to the couch and sat back down, visibly much more relaxed than she had been when they first entered the home. It felt good, she decided. This was just what she needed. With a kind smile, she handed him the chocolate bar and remained silent for a few more moments.
“That was beautiful, you know,” she finally said. “What you said. Beautiful like poetry. If you often make words sound that lovely, I would find it nice to be around you more often.” Her fingers fiddled with the candy bar wrapper as she opened her own bar of milk chocolate to snack on as they sat together in her living room. “Not that I would not find it nice to be around you anyway. I would.” Leni restrained a wince. Again with the awkward phrasing and the strange words. “And you are right about regret, of course. I do not regret what happened to me. How could I? I could not help it. What I do regret is never having the courage to move past it and create a happier life for myself. Instead, I live in my own world. I am…” She sighed gently. Why was she sharing this with him? Perhaps it only felt right, after what he said. “I am afraid of the world. I always have been. And in so being, I isolate myself. I am alone in my life and I have nobody but myself to blame. Not my mother or father, not the government that stole my normalcy from me. Only myself.”
Her voice cracked just slightly and she swallowed the sadness she suddenly felt, stifling it like she always did.
“I envy you for being an open person regardless of your hardships. And I am very, very fortunate that you did get the chance to come here and eat my cookies. You are wonderful company, Chase. I have not enjoyed an afternoon this much in a very long time.”
|
|
|
Post by chase on Feb 8, 2011 18:45:49 GMT -5
He was still thinking about her.
A surprised smile came to as words of humour spoke out from her lips, refraining a laugh as he saw that she surprised even herself. He leaned back on her couch with a sigh, hand coming up to lie on top of his eyes, eyes squeezed shut as he began to try to see her again. This was the problem with him, with this obsession - once he started it, it was hard to stop to wonder, to want to see her. He often wondered, from time to time, how he could love her. She was an Olympian, a Goddess, going about her wiles and ventures on Earth, free to be with anyone she chose. Wasn't that all what those Gods do, when they get bored at the state of the world? He sometimes hated that he could love something that seemed unreal, but then he'd think back to father, his abilities, how he came from her womb. He breathed deeply, coming out from his state as Leni came in view and presence, with what seemed to be silver foil in her hands.
He gave a whisper of thanks, but only did so much as to hold his share, scooting over a little to give her space. His eyes lowered down to the bar, at a loss of words to say. He hadn't meant to be so forward, to sound so pressing - now that he started to replay back his words, he was starting to wish he had gone a little softer and less words. He didn't know what to expect, but he knew it certainly wasn't ushered words coming from her. Taking a glance up, he looked at her, eyes slightly narrowed as he tried to make sense of her words to him.
He found himself smiling at the start of her words, unwrapping his own share and refraining yet another chuckle at the dialogue of her words. Not that I would not find it nice to be around you anyway. I would. She seemed lighter, when she said those words, like the air was finally breathable again. And then she continued with words, guided from his words that he hadn't meant to be misinterpreted. He didn't want her to blame herself, especially not herself. All things happen for a reason, after all -- everything just needed to be in time. He blinked, pursing his lips as he breathed lowly and deeply, smiling at her ending of words.
"I think the credit for most wonderful company goes for you, not me he started with a laugh, gesturing to her shared foods. He took her commented words in heart, loving the feeling of loose tension between them. "And I'm very glad that I've made this one afternoon something different from your other afternoons, with my poetry.
[/i]" And then he knew what he was going to say, despite apologizing and repeating to himself that he was going to be, yet again, an annoying speaker in terms of things like these. " My hardships were nothing compared to yours, Leni. You don't need to envy me -- heck, if anyone should be doing the envying, it should be me." And he meant what he said. He hadn't meant for his words to sound exaggerated, or feel sorry for him and punish herself. This was not how he wanted her to feel; he wanted her to feel appreciated, light and away from her tension to the world. He had his own, confusing personal problems to deal with -- she had forced-reality inforced in her, everything real to her taken away from her. " Don't blame yourself either -- everything goes accord to their places in time. It wouldn't hurt also, to forgive yourself. Then you may eventually forgive and forget every turmoil that's passed you, and move on, take on the world, you know." He grinned, and without a thought raised hand to her chin, directing his eyes straight to hers. " The only thing you should be scared of is bumping into people, because things like that just lead to another life that you had no idea existed." He raised both eyebrows, as if to ask for her undivided attention for a hypothetical lecture. " Next thing you know, you're involved in their complexly dangerous world, too." Pulling his hand away slowly, he finally opened his own chocolate bar, took out a piece, and plopped it in his mouth, groaning as he closed his eyes -- he was violating every decided rule, but just that moment, he didn't care. How he had missed something so delicious for cold soup was high above him, as he took a moment to savour the addicting taste in his mouth. " And sharing you're rightly hidden stash of addicting chocolates ..." he said slowly, taking a deep breath as he dropped his playful act and looked at her, a knowing smile curving his lips. He felt grateful, sympathetic, awe-struck and wonderful that moment, glad that she was rightly the first German he'd actually had a normal conversation with. She really was unlike anyone he'd ever met. And as she had sounded as if she'd stifled a more vulnerable side of her, he uttered softly, " If you ever feel the need to talk about anything, or just a shoulder to cry on, I'm always here." He then smiled and reached out his hands slightly, in a gesture of questioning. " But, suffice it to say, I think words alone will not express the deep gratitude I feel towards you right now. How would you feel about hugs instead?" [/blockquote]
|
|