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Post by JONATHAN WARNER BRASS on Aug 21, 2011 0:36:18 GMT -5
She was kissing him softly, and he bent his head to tenderly press his lips to her neck, his hand touching her hair, and drifting down the small of her back.
"We need to start talking more. And I need to start letting you know what's going on, because my mood swings are really, really starting to freak me out."
There was a funny jolt in his stomach, like he was already anticipating hearing something he wouldn't like. He didn't want to hear that she was scared of something he didn't know how to put an end to. Of something he didn't want to face, because it scared him too.
"I need to take a test, Jonathan."
He didn't immediately realize that he had looked away. His brows pulled low over his eyes, head dipping down, and for awhile he said nothing. "Still no change?" He asked, voice low, rough. He wasn't surprised exactly, but all this time he had chosen to pretend that as long as she didn't mention it, there was no problem. So her period was late- she had told him so, and told him why she was worried, but beyond that they didn't discuss it.
Why did it feel as if suddenly he couldn't speak? He swallowed hard, pushing his hair back with a hand, teeth gritted. The breath whooshed out his mouth in a sigh, and he finally looked up, drawing back from her slightly. "And you're..." He shook his head, clearing his throat once. "You're sure that you know why? It couldn't possibly be anything else? You don't have a flu or...just, something?" He didn't sound hopeful as he retreated back to his side of the bed, slowly lying back down. It was the closest he could come to behaving as if nothing was wrong.
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Post by SCARLET JOOK-LIANG LANCASTER on Aug 21, 2011 11:19:36 GMT -5
Scarlet watched as he moved away form her, to the other side of the bed, before laying down herself. She didn't know what to tell him. "No, no... It's been three weeks." She mumbled, staring at the ceiling quietly. Three weeks that showed she definitely had most of the symptoms, and three weeks that she had probably already known deep down inside that her period wasn't coming for a very, very long time. She took a shaky breath to try to calm herself, and turned away from him, curling up into a ball. Now she just felt like shit. Jonathan would probably hate her or something by the time all this was over. Her hands found her face and she covered herself up with them, feeling her eyes well up. Being this confused and sad and angry all at once was definitely not helping her situation. And Jonathan wasn't helping by arguing with his brother about stupid things that didn't matter in the long-run. Paul was an idiot. She grumbled and turned onto her stomach, pressing her face into the pillow, where she proceeded to wet it quite thoroughly with the tears that were now spilling over her bottom lids and onto the fabric.
"What if I'm a horrible mother?" She cried, muffled by the pillow, so it wasn't really audible. Her voice was raspy from crying, which also made her words quite hard to decipher. She turned her face and wiped her eyes with shaky hands, sniffling a bit. "I'm so sorry, Jonathan... I didn't mean to mess up your life." She pouted sadly, feeling more tears coming. What a big baby she was being. She mentally kicked herself. After this day was over, she promised herself she wouldn't cry for a long, long time. With a shaky sigh, she wiped the tears away from her face and flipped the pillow over, burying her face into the cold side, clinging to it for dear life. She felt like she was ruining his life. OOC// SAD SCARLET IS SAD OMG THIS POST IS SO DEPRESSING.
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Post by JONATHAN WARNER BRASS on Aug 21, 2011 19:39:46 GMT -5
So no change. The only thing different here was that they were openly acknowledging the assumption that Scarlet was indeed pregnant. So what did that mean for them?
"What are you going to do?" He asked slowly, face impassive as she turned and cried into her pillow. On an ordinary day he would have picked her back up. He could have held her tight and told her everything was going to be okay. But it wasn't an ordinary day, not anymore, and he was shit out of ideas. Honestly, it felt like there was just a fuzzy ball of nothingness where his brain used to be.
"What if I'm a horrible mother?"
He vaguely registered her worry, ice cold dread settling in his gut. His mouth opened to ask the question that he felt bound to bring up, but he couldn't seem to get the words out, so he just snapped it shut, jaw tense.
"I'm so sorry, Jonathan... I didn't mean to mess up your life."
That he heard. He closed his eyes, resting a hand over his forehead, pushing back the fringe of his hair. He didn't want her to feel guilty on his account. "Yeah, it's really your fault that I knocked you up." He said sarcastically. He was mentally counting back to when this could have happened, but without concrete answers, how was he to tell? His mouth twisted into a grimace. Great. He knew he was probably at fault- they were probably drinking, or locked in a cheesy fit of passion or something and made a huge freaking mistake.
"I'm so fucking dead." He groaned, eyes opening wide. He had gone rather pale, and looked a little sick, horror after horror dawning on him. "My parents are going to kill me." He suddenly sat bolt upright, head in his hands with another agonized moan. "Your dad is going to murder me. I'm going to be murdered." He muttered weakly. He didn't care how 'cool' her dad seemed. How he was so lenient. Jon somehow couldn't see that lasting if he found out that his daughter was pregnant. "Fuck. Ugh...just..." He was shaking his head like a wet dog, clasping both hands against the back of his neck.
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Post by SCARLET JOOK-LIANG LANCASTER on Aug 21, 2011 20:18:32 GMT -5
Now it was Scarlet's time to stare at him, watching as he freaked out. It brought an odd peace of mind to herself, before she laughed awkwardly and looked away, shrugging.
"Well... They don't have to know right away. And it's not like I'm still in high school..." She wiped her face with her palms and sighed loudly, sniffing back the rest of her tears. The time to panic was not now. Her boyfriend needed to do that first, apparently. She edged a bit closer and took his hand away from his neck, pulling it to her face.
"We can just say I got pregnant later on... It was planned or something. We're not in high school. And my dad will not murder you." She reached up and held his face, kissing his cheek. She was crying again, but she kept her voice level.
"Can you stop blaming yourself? It happened while we were sober. And we used a condom. So please don't blame yourself. Blame the condom company, if anything. Or my over-fertility, or something. But please, please, please, don't blame yourself." She pressed her forehead to his, sighing loudly, before closing her eyes, sliding up against him so she was snuggled into him, even if he didn't want to hold her.
"We'll be okay if I am, Jonathan. And I doubt your parents could kill you..." She laughed dryly. "Though I thought your mother was going to take a swing at you earlier..."
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Post by JONATHAN WARNER BRASS on Aug 21, 2011 20:47:57 GMT -5
She was tugging his hands away from his neck, touching his face, kissing his cheek, coming up with a plan. He didn't look at her, didn't move, shoulders hunched, while she tried to assure him that it wasn't his fault. Does it matter? He murmured silently to himself, eyes lifting from where he just stared at the mattress.
Feeling her body snuggled up against his own was like a quiet cue to put his arms around her, maybe lie back down, and try to work things out. But he sat rigidly, forcing back the desire because it didn't make sense to him right now.
"We'll be okay if I am, Jonathan. And I doubt your parents could kill you..." His eyes narrowed. And then she laughed, and it was like something was crumbling inside of him. The man jerked away from her, so violently that he almost fell off the bed at first. His feet hit the floor and he stood, frozen in a half-turn, glaring. "How do you not get this?" He demanded, taking a deep breath. It occurred to him that he didn't want his parents to find out about this because of the volume, so he lowered his voice to a near-whisper, though it didn't diminish any of the intensity. "We are screwed. What are you gonna do? Give up on the rest of your education?" He hissed, eyes wild. "We don't have any money. I live in a shitty ass apartment, and I haven't even started my new job, and you think that everything's going to be fine if we have a baby!?" He looked to be in danger of ripping out his hair or something with the suppressed need to vent. He lowered himself before dropping onto his knees, pressing his forehead to the edge of the bed with a gusty sigh, really not feeling any better.
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Post by SCARLET JOOK-LIANG LANCASTER on Aug 21, 2011 21:11:00 GMT -5
Scarlet stared at Jonathan as he spoke for the first few seconds, before feeling him jerk away so violently, she fell backwards and slid halfway off the bed, catching herself. She stood slowly and brushed down her shirt. "Well, if it's such a curse on our relationship, I will go to a clinic, and have it sucked out of me!" She had been trying not to raise her voice, but now it just came naturally. Her eyes blazed and churned around her pupil, and she set her jaw tight, before clenching her fists. She couldn't believe him. Was this not the year 2011? Could she not go to school and be pregnant at the same time? He needed to shut the fuck up. She didn't know what to say to him right now. Breathing in deeply, voice even, she glared at him more, before turning sharply on her heel and thrusting the door open. Her feet found the stairs, hard and cold against the bare flesh, before she stormed up through the house, passing Mike and Mandy in the living room, and Paul in the kitchen.
Like a wildfire, she launched herself out through the back door and down the deck, around the house, and down the gravel driveway, feeling the stones dig into her feet. Who cared, though? Maybe it'd kill the curse inside of her. She stormed farther and farther, feeling the heat of her anger build up inside of her. She found herself practically to town by the time she came to a large meadow separating the houses from the main part of the city. She walked a few yards into the grass and laid down on her back, staring up at the sky as it darkened. The clouds brushed by along the fading blue background. She closed her eyes and sighed aloud, trying to calm herself down. Her skin burned and itched and felt like bubbling gas, as if she were a fraction of the sun herself. Her heart pounded loudly in her chest, and finally, she held her breath to the point of nearly passing out, so her heart would slow down.
Wordlessly, she lifted her palms to her eyes and covered them, trying to shut out the world. She felt like dying.
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Post by JONATHAN WARNER BRASS on Aug 21, 2011 21:42:27 GMT -5
He lifted his head, but she had already turned and left. A few seconds...he launched himself to his feet, running up the stairs as he heard the back door shut.
Mandy and Mike were both in the doorway to the living room, eyes wide with shock. Paul was leaning around the back door, staring into the gathering darkness where Scarlet had disappeared around the house, all of them taken by surprise. Jon paid them no mind, yanking open the door to the garage that was still open. His bike sat in the driveway, and it was only a matter of channeling his feelings into his foot that slammed down on the pedal, awakening the engine. He didn't exactly feel better, but a little less under pressure with something on his mind to take the heat off.
He was roaring down the road, breathing heavily as his eyes scanned the darkening streets. First his street. Nothing. The next one. And the next. He was looping round and round them, but she wasn't in the residential areas. There was the main road that let to the town center, and by now she had a pretty good head start on him, but it was the only place he could think of.
He gunned the engine, the cool night wind whipping at his hair and his shirt, shocking him with the unpleasant summer chill. Whitened hands gripped the handlebars more firmly, fighting what felt like panic as he got closer and closer to the city without seeing her. He didn't know she had turned off into the grass, and was lying down somewhere out there. He just sped by, getting to the first busier intersection with no sign of her. People were still out walking around the well-lit streets, poking into the businesses that were still open, and the few restaurants and pubs. He couldn't imagine her getting this far, or wanting to even be around other people right now, but he rode down there anyway before turning back to the main road.
The sun had officially sunk below the horizon, the sky still faintly dashed with a bit a purple where it wasn't already a deep navy. Jon rode the length of the road again, encountering no one, reaching the opening of his own street once more. Where was she? He turned back for a third time, anger ebbing as long as he kept his head down and drove, eyes dry from the wind, still scanning. He reached the stop sign at the very end and slowed, planting both his feet, hands slipping from the handlebars, shoulders drooping. He didn't know where else to look, unless he started riding around all the side roads. He ran a hand through his hair, alone at the sign, arguing in his own head.
Maybe he ought to go back...He didn't blame her for not wanting to be found.
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Post by SCARLET JOOK-LIANG LANCASTER on Aug 21, 2011 22:14:03 GMT -5
The first time Scarlet heard the familiar roar of the bike, it drove past fast. Then again, and again. Each time getting slower than before. She felt bad. He was out looking for her, and his poor little unborn child. She was probably the bane of his existence right now. She just felt like getting struck by lightning. Where was a Zeus demigod when she needed one? She closed her eyes and let a few tears slip as she heard the bike coming near again, and sat up, standing in the field. Slowly, she made her way back to the road, sighing when her feet made contact with sharp rocks. She was probably all torn up on her feet, but she didn't care. She felt the rush of the cars as they passed her, rubbing at her face sleepily as she thought about her situation. She couldn't go back... Jonathan probably hated her or something...
She sniffed loudly over the sound of a motorcycle coming closer. She was almost back at his street, but she didn't feel like being found. This was horrible. What a horrible feeling inside. She felt the urge to dive behind the banks at the side of the road when she heard the motorcycle roar around the corner, but just kept walking, head-down, as if she were some sort of zombie, minding her own business, even if it was her boyfriend on the bike. He probably hadn't even brought her a helmet, so he'd insist on walking the bike home, instead of just treating her like she wasn't the most fragile thing in her life. Her heart sunk more and her shoulders slumped, glad that her skin still had enough glow left to light the way she was walking, so she didn't step on any broken glass or nails or something.
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Post by JONATHAN WARNER BRASS on Aug 22, 2011 12:48:04 GMT -5
When Jon circled the end of the street and eventually turned back for the last time, he finally caught sight of her stepping out of the tall grass, still a bit weirdly luminous. He slowed when he got close, expecting her to turn around. When she didn't, he pulled to a stop along the side of the road.
"Scarlet..." The engine cut out and he leaned back, waiting. "Scarlet come on." He sighed, watching as she continued to walk, at a loss for what to do. He got off the bike, jogging up to her until he was following her little path next to the road. He didn't know what to do, what to say, without sending the wrong message. An apology seemed like a pretty good place to start though.
"I'm sorry for getting angry." He paused. It was more likely what he had said over anything else, but right now he couldn't just change how he felt about it at the drop of a hat. "I'm just trying to be realistic." He explained, pleading with her to understand. Honestly, he hadn't expected her to be so willing to just go for it. In his mind the whole world had just come crashing down on them and he didn't know what to do. Reluctant to aggravate the situation, but feeling bound to make his point known, he reached out to loosely take her hand, hoping she wouldn't pull away. "I just...How do you know that we can handle this? That it won't be a mistake?"
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Post by SCARLET JOOK-LIANG LANCASTER on Aug 25, 2011 21:53:52 GMT -5
Scarlet flinched slightly as Jonathan's hand found her own, before looking away, but not letting go. He seemed sorry enough, but that didn't change the fact that he had made her feel like a monster. She stared sadly at the ground as he held her hand, before frowning when he stopped speaking. A mistake? She looked up at him finally, eyes still red from crying in the field. Her feet halted against the gravel on the side of the road, and she stared at him, chest heaving from trying to keep her voice even. "Well, if you think it's a mistake, I won't have it." She breathed through her nose, before wiping her eyes with the back of her free hand, before looking up at him angrily, again. Her hair was curling at the tips from the dew in the grass, and her cheeks were bright red from the blood flowing to them in anger. How could he be so cold?
"This is 2011, Jonathan." She spoke loudly, like she had when he had first come back from La Porte and passed her on the trails. "Women younger than me have had babies and still done pretty well for themselves. Nineteen isn't that young. And I'll be twenty by the time I have it." She huffed in his face and blew a damp curl out of the way of her eyes, before tucking it behind her ear. "Look. I love you. With all my heart. And if you think that it's a mistake, I will just get an abortion. It doesn't even have a brain right now, if it's even in there. But it's still ours. It could be our little boy or girl running around the park, screaming "mummy, daddy!" at the top of his or her lungs when they see one of us show up at school to pick them up. That's how I know it's not a mistake. Because it will be my child, and I will love it even if I have to sell everything to take care of it." She squeezed his hand tightly and tears started to well up in her eyes. "Is the thought of having a child with me still a horrible mistake?"
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